I was working this afternoon with an old SNL episode on in the background, when I stumbled on a vintage “Weekend Update” segment with Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey that I wish I’d been able to quote in Reality Bites Back:

Jimmy Fallon: Married By America contestant, Denise, is expected to be removed from FOX’s new reality series, after it was revealed that she is still married. Meanwhile, Candy was thrown off of FOX’s Vagina Auction for having dude parts.

Jimmy Fallon: It’s a good episode this week.

Tina Fey: Yeah. It was a good Vagina Auction this week.

Jimmy Fallon: Big ratings.

Gotta love it! I don’t have the clip online, but if you do, let me know.

“Bridalplasty”: If you’re shocked, you haven’t been paying attention

In November, just in time for those all-important Nielsen sweeps (and in the same month as Reality Bites Back will be published), E! will debut Bridalplasty, a headline-baiting reality show combining the desperation and body dysmorphia of Fox’s cosmetic surgery competition The Swan with the unbridled hyperconsumption hawked by wedding industrial complex series such as TLC Say Yes to the Dress, and WeTV’s Bridezillas and My Fair Wedding with David Tutera.

Dismally derivative, Bridalplasty will pit future brides who “want the dream wedding AND the dream body to go along with it” and “are willing to do whatever it takes to beat the competition in order to get that perfection”

against one another in wedding planning challenges. According to E!’s press release, each week the “lucky” winner of each challenge:

“will also get one piece of her dream body – going under the knife for one of the surgeries off her ‘wish list.’ The last bride standing will have the opportunity to have an extreme plastic surgery makeover and win a wedding fit for the stars where she will unveil her shocking new look for the very first time to the man that she’s about to marry.”